When Yaacov travelled away from Be'er Sheva on his way to Charan, he stopped at "Hamakom" - the place of the future Beis Hamikdash. The Torah says:

Vayikach me'avnei Hamakom... He took from the stones of the place...

and arranged them around his head. He slept and had a dream of angels ascending and descending a ladder. In the morning he awoke and the Torah says:

Vayikach es ha'even asher sam m'rashosav - and he took the stone that he had placed around his head...

In the evening there were 12 stones, and in the morning they had been transformed into one stone! Rashi comments: There had been 12 stones and each one began arguing with the others: "Upon me shall this righteous man rest his head. Whereupon Hashem combined them all into one stone." This idea of 12 stones becoming one is symbolic of the 12 tribes that Yaacov was going to produce. And they were arguing as to upon whom Yaacov would "rest his head", which means - whom would Yaacov rely upon to continue Jewish tradition? Hashem made them into one stone as if to say: Each of you will make a contribution to the continuity of the Jewish people. Each one of them said: "You can rely on me!"

The question remains: Why did Hashem choose the arguing tribes to act as the symbols of Jewish continuity? Why didn't Hashem choose Yitzchok and Yishmael - they too argued! Why didn't Hashem choose Yaacov and Esau - they too argued!

Can you suggest an answer? One answer is: Yishmael argued with Yitzchak, but they were not interested in the same thing! Yishmael did not want to continue Avraham's traditions - so he argued with Yitzchak. Esav argued with Yaacov because Esav was opposed to Torah ideas. He was a hunter interested only in today - not a future of Jewish tradition. The argument of the 12 stones - the 12 tribes - was different. Each of them realised that Yaacov was a tzadik and each tribe was worthy of carrying on an aspect of Yaacov's beliefs. But Yaacov wanted to create a "House of Yaacov" and wanted each son to contribute something special to this "Beis Yaacov". That is why he gave each of them a unique bracha -- blessing -- representing the unique talents of each. But one thing is clear - they all wanted to continue Torah values. They were all on the same team, working toward the same goal. They all said: "Shema Yisroel - Listen, our father, Yisroel - Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Echad. Hashem our G-d, Hashem is One." So Hashem combined them into one stone - one home - and created the Beis Yisroel - the House of Israel.

Every house has arguments and quarrels between brothers and sisters. The goal is to have all the brothers and sisters discuss not what is best for "me" - but what is best for "us" - as a family. Let us try to learn from this Midrash brought by Rashi, to work together to make the values of our Jewish homes stronger. Each of us is special and unique - and each of us can make a contribution to our vibrant Jewish home. Let's all work together toward that goal.