Coming Of Age
by Encounter Director Rabbi Yisroel Roll
In 1997 then Prime Minister John Major of Britain travelled to India on a State visit. While there he visited an ancient mountain tribe near tibet and attended a coming of age ceremony whereby a group of thirteen year old boys were undergoing an initiation ceremony to be welcomed into the tribe as men. The prime Minister watched as the father of each boy walked up to his son and presented to him a symbol of manhood-a kalashnikov rifle. This represents the most important value of that society-self preservation amidst the warring mountain tribes.
This Chanukah I experienced a coming of age ceremony-American style. I took my ten year old son and my Dad to a sporting goods store so that my Dad could advise us on the purchase of my son's first baseball glove. There we were in the middle of the baseball aisle throwing baseballs to each other to make sure the new glove was a good fit and that the ball slid easily into the pocket. "This is the one," said Dad, "and I'm paying."
I was happy to let Dad pay-as this was the continuity of an american tradition-his grandson's first baseball glove.My grandfather bought me my first glove-and now it was my dad's turn. Dad was literally handing down this tradition to my son. The values of baseball-sportsmanship,teamwork,comraderie and good clean fun-were all captured in that special moment that my dad placed the glove on my son's hand. It was a moment that bridged the generation gap.
I guess that is what life is all about-experiencing a little tradition---and passing it on to your kids.
This channukah, with all the channukah gelt and gift giving-perhaps we can take a moment to reflect on what we are really giving to our children. Is it really a new scooter, train set and roller blades that the kids really need?
Perhaps we can appreciate the Channukah candles' message as they wink at us in the window. The flame of each candle is elusive, intangible and yet magical--its message of Jewish pride spans the generations. You can't touch it--but it sure touches you.
The gift--the real gift that we should be giving to our kids-should be the gift that makes us immortal--the things our kids will do that will live on after us. So what will that be? Is it an appreciation of the finer things in life that we want to pass on to our kids--like fine wine, a good restaurant or our love of basball? Maybe its the art of shopping-retail therapy?
Maybe it-like the Chanukah candles-is something you can't touch-but something you can only experience----lighting shabbat candles,studying jewish values, customs and traditions.....a little kiddush---and not only a little kaddish.
And maybe-just maybe-we should be thinking of giving our kids a little more of what they really want-a litle more time, a little attention-an extra hug.
This Channukah why not give your kids the most important thing in life--not Channukah presents but your own presence--a little more you.
