A Weekly Thought for Family Discussion at the Shabbat Table

Parshat Acharei Mos

If a Martian walked into a synagogue on Yom Kippur and saw people crying, hitting their hearts, and fasting in a state of exhaustion ...they would run to call the doctor. "Not necessary", we would say. We are speaking to our spiritual Doctor -- Hashem.

How is it, however, that by causing ourselves the five afflictions of Yom Kippur:

1) no eating or drinking
2) no bathing
3) no leather shoes
4) no anointing with oil
5) no intimacy

that we come close to G-d? The Torah tell us: "Te'anu es Nafshoseichem" - and you shall afflict yourselves... and the Talmud in Yoma 74b enumerates these five acts of " affliction" -- Why? These acts take away from our usual focus on the body and force us to focus on our spiritual side. If we, for one day a year, leave aside bodily pleasures, we will be free to spend the day thinking about how we can improve ourselves, which is the essence of "spirituality".

So why do we have to knock ourselves down by hitting our hearts so many times for all of our sins, mistakes and errors? When we say " Al Chayt...for the sin of..." -- aren't we make Judaism into a "downer? No. In fact, just the opposite is true. When we hit our hearts we are actually encouraging ourselves to look inside our hearts and improve.

We gently urge ourselves by prodding our hearts and saying:

I can be a better son...
I can be a better daughter...
I can be a better student...
I can be a better father...
I can be a better mother...
I can be a better husband...
I can be a better wife...

Hitting our hearts is not a "downer" but an "upper" -- a motivator. We encourage ourselves to "get our act together" -- and improve. Heart-felt improvement leads to real happiness. Therefore Yom Kippur is not a downer, solemn and sad day. It is the happiest day of the year! A day during which we can take personal stock and personal inventory of our lives and the direction we are going and make adjustments. A day to be alone with our thoughts, our soul - our spiritual self. It is like an oasis in the desert! Use it wisely and pray b'simcha- and enjoy the process of personal growth.