In this week's Sedra, Hashem teaches us how to make a good "shidduch" which lasts. When Yitzchak married Rivka, the Torah says: "He married Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her."

Now, what is wrong with that statement? Isn't it conventional wisdom that we first go on a date, fall in love, and then get married? Why is it that the Torah reverses the order? Why does the Torah say that Yitzchak married Rivka -and then he loved her?

The Torah does not run by conventional wisdom or popular opinion. It is based on "emes" - truth. When we are looking for a shidduch for ourselves or for our children, we should look to the story of Yitzchak as the model. Rashi tells us that when Yitzchak married Rivka, the three miracles that existed when Sarah was alive returned to the home. Firstly, the Shabbat candles burned all week long - from Friday afternoon to the next Friday afternoon. This represents spirituality and the "light" of Torah learning. Second, the challah baked on Friday stayed fresh until the following Friday. This represents the idea that money - symbolised by the bread - was used in that home for spiritual purposes. And third, the cloud of glory that had surrounded the tent returned. This represents family purity.

The Torah is teaching us that, to find the right shidduch, both parties have to share the same values. It is not relevant whether they both like the same music or the same food. Rather, they should consider: is their world view the same? Are their plans to build a Jewish home the same? If so, then by "marrying" their goals and aspirations to one another, and working together toward those goals, they create a bond of love between husband and wife - one that lasts. Rivka's goals to build a Jewish home were the same as the Torah values that Yitzchak learned from his parents, Avraham and Sarah. When Rivka continued to live by these values, the three miracles returned.

What many people call "love" before marriage is really "chemistry" or infatuation. It is not yet tested, worked on and developed. Love, real love, comes from building on the foundations of a Jewish home. Love comes after planning, working together and encouraging each other and the family toward spiritual growth. That is true love -,which lasts forever.